I am puke
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
