i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
