i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
