How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
