At least make sure they are 18
Why
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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