Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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