he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
