3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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