so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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