I think my vagina is haunted
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
