Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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