SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
