The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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