turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize