it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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