I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
