none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize