hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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