i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
