If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
