There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
