I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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