I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
