what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
