I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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