It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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