This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
