So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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