He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
