3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
