After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
