If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
