this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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