i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It was confusing and full of hummus
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
