So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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