He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm like, not good at living.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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