Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize