can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
