I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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