I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
