Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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