That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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