I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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