He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
