I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
