He uses pillows to masturbate.
only if we run a train.
done.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
