therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
