I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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