so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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