Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
