I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
