Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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