I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Can I color on your dick again?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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