she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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