The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
