i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
